I write this with tears welling up, as I reflect on my own journey through forgiveness. I know firsthand that letting go is difficult, especially when others label forgiveness as weakness or accuse you of having ulterior motives and look at you as foolish. But this post isn’t here to preach—it’s simply encouragement, a way to share a few insights that have brought me peace and direction along the way.
Holding onto hurt and resentment keeps us anchored in the past, it traps us in cycles of anger, grief, and frustration that block us from reaching our true potential. When you choose to embark on the journey of forgiveness, (yes, it's a choice) you set the stage for self-discovery, emotional strength and inner peace. To grow, heal, and become a better person, forgiveness is essential - it is an act of self-love that frees us from the grip of painful memories and opens the door to experience inner peace and joy.
Here are five people to forgive to unlock the best version of yourself.
Forgive Your Parents
This wound cuts deep because our parents are often our first teachers and role models. Their influence on us is undeniable, as they shape how we see ourselves and the world. While most parents try their best, we shouldn't forget that they too are imperfect humans who are not exempt from making mistakes and misjudgments no matter how much they disguise this. Maybe they held onto beliefs that limited you or vice versa had unrealistic expectations, were unable to fully understand or support you, acted out of fear or pain, or even struggled with their own unresolved traumas. Whatever their shortcomings, blaming them all your life cannot be fruitful but forgiving them can be transformative as we acknowledge that they too, are shaped by their own experiences and limitations.
I'm not saying that by forgiving your parents you should ignore the pain that they may have caused, but rather try to understand them. Through understanding them, although we may not agree with how they did things, we can create room to foster empathy and healing which can help rebuild your relationship or be at peace whilst you go separate paths. Forgiving our parents allows us to separate their actions from our own identity, giving us a fresh perspective that frees us from any limiting labels or expectations they may have imposed.
Forgive Those Who Hurt or Judged You
Whether it’s a coworker who undermined you, an unkind stranger, or someone who doubted your potential, these people have sown seeds with deep scars of inadequacy and self-doubt. That's the cruel reality of the world we live in today, we cannot escape encountering people who are quick to judge or criticise and maybe when we look in the mirror, we can also find ourselves guilty of this. But remember when we let others’ harsh words define us, we give them power over our identity.
Recognising this pain is the first step towards healing, but holding onto it can weigh heavily on you and even physically affect your health. Forgiving those who hurt or judged you is about freeing yourself from the shadows of others’ opinions. Their actions reflect their own struggles and insecurities, and by forgiving them, you release this emotional baggage which allows you to regain control over your life and focus on what truly matters, like building healthy relationships and pursuing your goals.
To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness. - Robert Muller
Forgive Your Past Relationships and Exes
Our romantic relationships teach us about vulnerability, love, and heartbreak. But when they end, especially if they ended painfully, they often leave scars and unresolved feelings of betrayal, sadness and resentment. The pain from a past relationship may feel justified but holding onto bitterness or regret toward an ex doesn’t change the past—it only keeps you tethered to that person and prevents you from fully opening your heart to love again. So, why continue to hurt yourself?
Forgiving your ex doesn’t mean excusing their actions or pretending everything was perfect, it means letting go of this emotional baggage. This act of liberation creates space for healing and allows for new relationships to blossom. Remember, forgiveness is about freeing yourself, not necessarily reconciling with the person. By moving past grievances, you take a significant step toward emotional maturity, moving forward with a heart free to grow and love without the weight of the past.
Forgive Friends and Family Members
The people closest to us, friends and family, hold a special place in our lives, which can make it all the more painful when they disappoint or hurt us, even if unintentionally. Our friendships and family ties can be rewarding, but sometimes I must say, are a disappointment. Perhaps they didn’t show up when you needed them, offered unfair criticism, or drifted away when you needed support. Misunderstandings, betrayals, or simply growing apart may lead to feelings of hurt and resentment, and it’s natural to feel hurt, but holding onto that pain damages relationships and weighs down your spirit.
Forgiving friends and family members is crucial for emotional balance and healing. It is important to remember that forgiveness does not mean you need to forget or restore the relationship as it was before. Instead, it provides us an opportunity to reflect on the lessons learned and redefine our boundaries. By letting go of these disappointments, you free yourself to cherish the good memories, celebrate the love you shared, and cherish the growth that comes from these close relationships whilst letting go of unmet expectations.
Forgive Yourself
Perhaps the most important person to forgive is yourself. We are often our own harshest critics, replaying mistakes, moments we wish we could change or feeling guilty over things we cannot change, and regretting missed opportunities all of which create major barriers to personal growth. We are human, with strengths, flaws, and everything in between. Holding onto self-blame only keeps us from experiencing the fullness of life. To grow, we must let go of guilt and embrace self-compassion.
Practising self-forgiveness involves acknowledging that everyone makes mistakes. It's about learning from those experiences and transforming them into valuable lessons. Every misstep was a lesson, a stepping stone toward the person you are today. This process requires kindness and compassion toward yourself. By forgiving yourself, you create space for self-love, which fosters resilience and propels your growth journey.
Forgiveness and Growth: The Journey to Wholeness
Forgiveness is a challenging but rewarding journey that requires vulnerability, patience, and a willingness to let go. It may take time to forgive these five people, but remember, forgiveness is not about condoning harmful behaviour or erasing painful experiences—it’s about freeing yourself from the weight of the past so you can embrace a more fulfilling present and future.
Reflect on these five people as a guide to this transformative process. Take concrete steps toward forgiveness, like having honest conversations, writing down your feelings, or seeking support from a mentor or therapist. Each step you take enhances your emotional well-being and strengthens you as you grow into a better version of yourself.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. - Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
We’d love to hear from you! Who do you think is the hardest person to forgive?
Who Do You Find Hardest to Forgive?
0%Parents
0%People Who Hurt or Judged You
0%Past Relationships and Exes
0%Friends and Family Members
Comment below on why you chose your answer! Let’s inspire each other to take that first step toward forgiveness.
Be Blessed and Encouraged!
Because walking away can happen but staying away is a conscious choice.